What if...

What if your husband died? Would you marry another Deaf man, or would you marry a hearing man? Would you continue to attend church with the Deaf congregation? Would you continue to sign with your kids? Would you continue to associate with the Deaf Community? What if...?

Surprisingly, I have been asked these questions or questions like these before. I've thought of them myself over the years. No one likes the thought of the love of their life passing away, but the questions do come up... What if...? What would I do?

May I Have Your Autograph?

Have you ever been in a public place and noticed someone famous? Did you see other people (maybe even yourself) go up to them and ask for their autograph - regardless of who they were with or what they were doing? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be that famous person? Well, being married to a Deaf person is almost just like that! Almost...

Mrs. P's Tip Number One

"Are you sure you're not marring him because you feel sorry for him?"

"You're marrying a deaf man? That's... interesting..."

"She's hearing? Ooohhh... Ok..."

"Does she at least know ASL?"

And the list goes on... 

A Rude Awakening

The morning began like this... "Honey... We need to talk..."

No conversation that starts with "we need to talk" is ever going to be a good one. Let me give you some back story...

The Distance Between

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We have all had that experience when you're walking with someone, and they get a little ahead of you - perhaps you're walking with a slow child, or are 8 1/2 months pregnant and you just don't move that fast, or you are distracted by something shiny in a store window... And then you realize the person you're with is walking in the wrong direction, but they're now far enough ahead of you that you can't just grab their arm and nudge them in the right direction. We've all been there, done that, right? Well, imagine that you can't shout, yell, holler, or call-out to that person. Yep, that's my life.

Learning ASL-some get it right off the bat...

Mrs. B:

My life during ASL acquisition:

After that phone call regarding registration I began taking ASL classes and education classes.  I loved my ASL classes!  I do need to share an experience, however; in one of those classes (probably the very first ASL class I ever had) I went into the “lab” to study for a test and the Deaf monitor there was trying to sign “good luck” to us.  He was fingerspelling “l-u-c-k” and because he was Deaf and I was extremely shy and not feeling very confident with my receptive abilities (and because he was Deaf), I must have mentally put a block up that barred any capability of comprehending a four-letter fingerspelled word.  Unfortunately I could not figure out the word, even after the millionth time he fingerspelled it to me—I could visibly see his face getting angry that I couldn’t catch his painfully slow spelling.  Needless to say I was flustered and embarrassed and wondering why in the world was I still in this sign class!!!!

How will you go to the movies? Or talk in the dark?

So, just as in Mrs. P's post, I have a similar story.  When my husband and I became engaged, the first thing my grandmother asked was "How will you talk in the dark?"  That one was experimented upon--when we were first married we really did try the whole "fingerspell words into the palm of his hand" idea and it led to so many "what?", "what was that?", "please say it again." that the lights finally came back on...every time. Ha ha!

Tip for determining the importance of some information...

It happens--it really does! The moment something comes to your mind that you feel is important to share at that very moment, but when it enters your mind your spouse is now turned the other way, walking away from you and cannot hear you call his name.  It is in those moments that I have come to realize there are some things that are just not THAT important...at least not right NOW.  It really CAN wait.  haha.

Whispers in the Dark...

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When Mr. P and I were first married, we ran into an issue I never really thought about before we were married: we couldn't lie in bed at night and talk to each other. Often that time in bed before you go to sleep is when you really have time to chat about the day and things going on the next day, but we couldn't really do that.

Our first house was very small! We had a queen-sized bed which took up almost the entire bedroom, so we had no room for lamps beside the bed. We were left with a few choices: 1) have a one-sided conversation in the dark; 2) Leaving lights on while we talk and have one of us get out of bed to turn it off when we were done talking; 3) Don't talk at all before going to sleep; 4) figure out something else.