Whispers in the Dark...

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When Mr. P and I were first married, we ran into an issue I never really thought about before we were married: we couldn't lie in bed at night and talk to each other. Often that time in bed before you go to sleep is when you really have time to chat about the day and things going on the next day, but we couldn't really do that.

Our first house was very small! We had a queen-sized bed which took up almost the entire bedroom, so we had no room for lamps beside the bed. We were left with a few choices: 1) have a one-sided conversation in the dark; 2) Leaving lights on while we talk and have one of us get out of bed to turn it off when we were done talking; 3) Don't talk at all before going to sleep; 4) figure out something else.
So here is what we discovered as we figured out which choice would work best:

Option number one: Mr. P was able to speak to me and have me understand him just fine with the lights out, but he couldn't hear me at all (unless I screamed in his ear saying something he could guess I was saying one painfully slow word at a time). Mr. P could tell me all kinds of things, but I couldn't really say anything in response. A one-sided conversation isn't all that enjoyable - especially when you're the one being left out of the two person conversation. Fail.

Option number two: Leaving the lights on meant that one of us would have to get out of the warm bed to turn off the lights. Like I said earlier, we lived in a VERY old home - not very well built either. We were married in December and it was very cold in our little house during the Winter months (what with all the cracks in the thin windows and the thin walls and whatnot)! We did have one thing going for us, though, the light switch wasn't on the wall. We had a pull-string light. So all one of us had to do was the stand up on the bed and turn off the light. However, who wants to get out of the warm comfy blankets to do that? "It's your turn!" "No! I did it last time," It worked alright if we HAD to, but overall, it wasn't great, because what happened when we thought of something else we needed to say? We'd have to get out of the warm bed again - twice more! Fail.

Option number three: Not talking before going to sleep... Sorry. Impossible. I don't know any married couple that would do that - unless they were angry with each other. We were honeymooners, so we were not angry all that often. Fail.

So, we were left with option number four - figure out something else... We figured out a few options that work and we still use them today - 13 years later. First we figured out if you hold your hands high enough and look at them at the right angle against the ceiling, there is enough contrast between your hands and the white ceiling that you can communicate. You have to sign slowly and very clearly, but it works when needed. 

Also, we sign on each others bodies. Instead on signing "who" on my chin, I would sign it on his... Sometimes even some signs you normally sign out in the space in front of your body, I would sign by touch. I'd rub my finger back and forth on his arm to indicate "where" instead of signing in the dark.

Occasionally, we still get confused and flip on a light for a bit, but it's much easier now that we have bed-side lamps (on both sides of the bed).

-- Mrs. P