The Distance Between

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We have all had that experience when you're walking with someone, and they get a little ahead of you - perhaps you're walking with a slow child, or are 8 1/2 months pregnant and you just don't move that fast, or you are distracted by something shiny in a store window... And then you realize the person you're with is walking in the wrong direction, but they're now far enough ahead of you that you can't just grab their arm and nudge them in the right direction. We've all been there, done that, right? Well, imagine that you can't shout, yell, holler, or call-out to that person. Yep, that's my life.

Learning ASL-some get it right off the bat...

Mrs. B:

My life during ASL acquisition:

After that phone call regarding registration I began taking ASL classes and education classes.  I loved my ASL classes!  I do need to share an experience, however; in one of those classes (probably the very first ASL class I ever had) I went into the “lab” to study for a test and the Deaf monitor there was trying to sign “good luck” to us.  He was fingerspelling “l-u-c-k” and because he was Deaf and I was extremely shy and not feeling very confident with my receptive abilities (and because he was Deaf), I must have mentally put a block up that barred any capability of comprehending a four-letter fingerspelled word.  Unfortunately I could not figure out the word, even after the millionth time he fingerspelled it to me—I could visibly see his face getting angry that I couldn’t catch his painfully slow spelling.  Needless to say I was flustered and embarrassed and wondering why in the world was I still in this sign class!!!!

Part of who I am-Mrs. B

My life before marriage:

I have NO ONE Deaf in my family (excluding my husband, of course!)—the only people who use hearing aids are the ones who are older and need it to hear better.  Everyone else is just like me.  I did not grow up knowing anyone Deaf.  I was exposed to the manual alphabet growing up and thought it fun to fingerspell words to a friend in seminary.  That’s as far as it went for me…until college.

I went to college in another state—far enough away from my family to be feeling lonely and overwhelmed with adult life after high school.  I had called my mom prior to registering for classes and asked her what I should major in—my only sister had taken a sign class at Rick’s College and was wanting to major in Deaf education.   So, my mom suggested I major in the same thing.  In my freshman mind I thought that was great!  Now, understand my background a little—I grew up in a musical family; my mother played the flute, piccolo, piano and organ; my only sister played the flute and piccolo as well, and probably some piano; my oldest brother played the clarinet and the French horn as well as the electric bass guitar in jazz band; my second oldest brother played the trumpet and the French horn; I played the flute and piccolo and the electric bass guitar in jazz band as well as a bit of piano my senior year in high school (which I’m not proficient at and I regret not practicing and keeping that skill up!); and my youngest brother played the clarinet and alto saxophone in jazz band; even my father played the flute in college!  So, I find it rather an oxymoron that I am now in a “Deaf” world, where my musical skills really are not put to any good use!  Haha!  Perhaps I was looking for a challenge?  Or maybe something different?  But no misunderstanding-I love my music!

How will you go to the movies? Or talk in the dark?

So, just as in Mrs. P's post, I have a similar story.  When my husband and I became engaged, the first thing my grandmother asked was "How will you talk in the dark?"  That one was experimented upon--when we were first married we really did try the whole "fingerspell words into the palm of his hand" idea and it led to so many "what?", "what was that?", "please say it again." that the lights finally came back on...every time. Ha ha!

Tip for determining the importance of some information...

It happens--it really does! The moment something comes to your mind that you feel is important to share at that very moment, but when it enters your mind your spouse is now turned the other way, walking away from you and cannot hear you call his name.  It is in those moments that I have come to realize there are some things that are just not THAT important...at least not right NOW.  It really CAN wait.  haha.

Whispers in the Dark...

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When Mr. P and I were first married, we ran into an issue I never really thought about before we were married: we couldn't lie in bed at night and talk to each other. Often that time in bed before you go to sleep is when you really have time to chat about the day and things going on the next day, but we couldn't really do that.

Our first house was very small! We had a queen-sized bed which took up almost the entire bedroom, so we had no room for lamps beside the bed. We were left with a few choices: 1) have a one-sided conversation in the dark; 2) Leaving lights on while we talk and have one of us get out of bed to turn it off when we were done talking; 3) Don't talk at all before going to sleep; 4) figure out something else.

Who are Mrs. B and Mrs. P?

Throughout the years Mrs. B and Mrs. P have known each other, they have had many conversations which ended in, "we need to write a book!" After so many similar conversations, the idea became, "we should write a blog!" Here is why...

Our marriages are mixed marriages: Our husbands are Deaf and we are hearing. Although each couple is Caucasian, has the same religious beliefs, and even grew up in the same state and county, we are still mixed. Deaf culture is very different from the mainstream hearing culture we grew up in.  For this reason, the different cultures, we have mixed marriages.

Coming Soon...

Stories from the perspective of the Deaf member of the couple...

Coming Soon...

The hearing male perspective...