Who are Mrs. B and Mrs. P?

Throughout the years Mrs. B and Mrs. P have known each other, they have had many conversations which ended in, "we need to write a book!" After so many similar conversations, the idea became, "we should write a blog!" Here is why...

Our marriages are mixed marriages: Our husbands are Deaf and we are hearing. Although each couple is Caucasian, has the same religious beliefs, and even grew up in the same state and county, we are still mixed. Deaf culture is very different from the mainstream hearing culture we grew up in.  For this reason, the different cultures, we have mixed marriages.

Mrs. P's husband always thought he'd marry someone deaf and she never dreamed she'd even know let alone marry anyone deaf. In fact, when they decided to marry, they had people on both sides of the mix voice their concerns and were unsure how things would work out. Even though they are mixed, they are perfectly matched!

Mrs. B met her husband and tried to set him up with a deaf friend, but ended up married to him herself! Mrs. B.'s husband wanted a deaf, blonde haired, blue-eyed girl to marry and Mrs. B is none of those.  Just goes to show you that love can happen with a person who does not have all that you were expecting!  It took time for both of them to come to grips with what they wanted from each other and from life, but it has been a wonderfully sweet union between them! Mrs. B truly married her best friend!

Over the years, many people have asked us how things work, what it's like, and even asked us why? With this blog we hope to share what it is like to be a hearing wife to a Deaf man. Some stories will be funny and others may not be. Some of you may be able to identify with these - being in a mixed marriage yourself or not. We will have guest writers with other perspectives and hope to let others out there know that they are not alone - a Deaf/hearing marriage isn't always easy, but we wouldn't have it any other way - they make the most interesting love stories!

Part of who I am-Mrs. B

My life before marriage:

I have NO ONE Deaf in my family (excluding my husband, of course!)—the only people who use hearing aids are the ones who are older and need it to hear better.  Everyone else is just like me.  I did not grow up knowing anyone Deaf.  I was exposed to the manual alphabet growing up and thought it fun to fingerspell words to a friend in seminary.  That’s as far as it went for me…until college.

I went to college in another state—far enough away from my family to be feeling lonely and overwhelmed with adult life after high school.  I had called my mom prior to registering for classes and asked her what I should major in—my only sister had taken a sign class at Rick’s College and was wanting to major in Deaf education.   So, my mom suggested I major in the same thing.  In my freshman mind I thought that was great!  Now, understand my background a little—I grew up in a musical family; my mother played the flute, piccolo, piano and organ; my only sister played the flute and piccolo as well, and probably some piano; my oldest brother played the clarinet and the French horn as well as the electric bass guitar in jazz band; my second oldest brother played the trumpet and the French horn; I played the flute and piccolo and the electric bass guitar in jazz band as well as a bit of piano my senior year in high school (which I’m not proficient at and I regret not practicing and keeping that skill up!); and my youngest brother played the clarinet and alto saxophone in jazz band; even my father played the flute in college!  So, I find it rather an oxymoron that I am now in a “Deaf” world, where my musical skills really are not put to any good use!  Haha!  Perhaps I was looking for a challenge?  Or maybe something different?  But no misunderstanding-I love my music!

Who is Mrs. P??

My first exposure to the Deaf world came when I was in elementary school. Someone came into our class and taught us some Sign Language - I do not recall why they did. I do, however, recall how cool I thought it was and decided then and there I would eventually learn American Sign Language at some point!
For years, my sister, our friends, and I would use the manual alphabet to have secret conversations with each other - clear across the room (we thought that was pretty awesome). We'd slowly spell out a word (confusing R and X constantly) then we'd slide our hands through the air to represent a space between words. If we messed up, we'd mime erase our our errors before moving on. We thought we were pretty cool that we could do that!

After I graduated high school, and began college, one of my cousins (whom I was close with) was called to serve an LDS mission and was transferred into the Deaf program while he was serving. It rekindled my desire to learn ASL, so I found some classes and began my journey into the life I now live.
I took two years of sign classes, fell in love with the language, and was then called to serve my own LDS mission in the Deaf program. I LOVED my mission! I loved the people, the language, the culture - everything about it! While I was in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) and out in the field, I met many wonderful people who I now have life long friendships with. I also became accustomed to life in the Deaf Community.
After my mission, I worked as an interpreter at a local college to work my way through school. I also fell in love... One of those wonderful people I met in the MTC became my husband about a year after I came home. Mr. P has been deaf since birth. Exactly half of his family is deaf. It's genetic in his family - which isn't always the case. And so began my adventure as a hearing wife of a deaf man.
I have been signing (not counting my "secret code hand gesture signing") now for nearly 18 years, been happily married for just past 13 years, and a member of the Deaf Community for much of that time. I've learned a lot and have had a lot of experiences I never thought I would as I was growing up and looking forward to marriage. My life is definitely an adventure and I'd never want it any other way!

What's up with the PB&J??

How about a little explanation of the whole "PB&J" stuff?  It actually comes with a few purposes (that were honestly happened upon by chance!).  We discovered that the letters P and B were in both of our last names, and our first names both start with J's.  There's reason number one.  Another reason-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches go hand in hand--kind of like bees with honey, or pencils and erasers...as our husbands fit with us!--PERFECTLY--!  (And peanut butter and jelly sandwiches fill our tummies!)  We thought it was a fun way to identify ourselves on this blog, without releasing too much personal information (for as we all know, the Deaf world is a small one!)