The Distance Between

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We have all had that experience when you're walking with someone, and they get a little ahead of you - perhaps you're walking with a slow child, or are 8 1/2 months pregnant and you just don't move that fast, or you are distracted by something shiny in a store window... And then you realize the person you're with is walking in the wrong direction, but they're now far enough ahead of you that you can't just grab their arm and nudge them in the right direction. We've all been there, done that, right? Well, imagine that you can't shout, yell, holler, or call-out to that person. Yep, that's my life.



Disney World 2010: we are there with my family - 21 of us - all wearing the same shirt. We have grandpa in a motor scooter, grandma who desperately wants to be with each grandchild as they experience something for the first time, 7 parents chasing around after 4 teenagers and 4 young kids on foot, and 4 kids in strollers (3 of which are mine). There we all are, trying to decide what we are going to do next... Pirates of the Caribbean it is. We all start off in that direction as a large mass of heather-grey shirts. Everyone starts to talk about how hungry they are and in the middle of our pilgrimage, it's decided we'll do lunch first. This means going in another direction. I suddenly realize that I got separated from my husband and he didn't get the memo on the change of direction. When I finally spot him, he's pushing 2 of our kids in a double stroller while the third stands on the back, he's far enough away, that I can't easily grab him and tell him about the change of plans. Now, at this point I have a few options available to me - all of which I've tried before...

Oh, believe me, I have tried many things to get his attention.

I have tried to shout out to him, but that's just embarrassing for everyone - in order for it to be loud enough for him to hear (fog horn loud), it draws way too much attention, and then everyone just thinks he's a jerk for ignoring me - because who couldn't hear a fog horn, right?

I've tried waving my arms around - making myself look like one of those inflatable wacky tube-men store owners put in front of their stores to draw in customers. That wasn't my brightest moment - how can he see me waving if he's looking in the other direction?

Sometimes I can stomp my foot - if he's not too far away and if we're on wood flooring; but with this tactic, I end up looking like a spoiled child having a tantrum. Hearing people don't get the stomping foot tactic.

I have desperately searched for something to throw - something soft enough to not hurt, yet beefy enough to cover the distance. Something much like the plush Darth Vader toy we just bought... Dang! It's in the stroller!

I have even resorted to texting him or calling him in the hopes that he will feel the vibration of his phone in his pocket, look at it, and wonder why it's me calling/texting when I'm supposed to be right next to him.

Now that our kids are a little older, I'll yell for the child who may be with him or send one that is with me to run after him, but that only works if there are kids with us. Why don't I run after him, you might ask? I have... I have also seen the looks... I look like I'm desperately chasing after someone who is trying to leave me. Not to mention the fact that exercise and I are not friends.

What did I do in that moment at Disney World? Which of my attention-getting tools did I pull out of my trusty hearing-wife tool bag? I stood there and waited. I waited until he was almost out of sight. When he finally noticed how lonely he was, he turned and saw all the heather-grey shirts were going the opposite direction... I've learned that sometimes my best attention-getting tool is to do nothing at all - just smile and wait, watching his sexy behind walk away, until he notices the distance between.

Do you have a different way you solve this issue? Do you have a great story about the distance between you and your "deaf person of choice"? We'd love to hear about it! Leave us a comment and let us know about!

-- Mrs. P